its a new year.. words cant express my thoughts on all my accomplishments of 2011.. ive made many new friends, seen new things, gained new experiences, laughed like i never before, and i guesss.. ive never been happier. there were rough times definitely, but i thank God for everything he has put me through.
to all those who wrote in my cbox, i read them all, thank you. i love you guys alot rly :)
ilovedyou; 2:39 AM
andistilldo
Thursday, December 1, 2011
goodbye;
i try not to post but today i just feel like i should. i havent really been sad but now i am.
ive been trying to figure out what i need i ask myself all the time what im looking for sometimes. even i dont know.
i cant rly get to you, dear. u wont let me in. yet you let the people around u near enough to hurt you why wont u realize im all you need?
you tell the world ure broken. but u wont let anyone fix u you see the dangers waiting.. but u choose to walk deeper you know of the lies and pain to come. but u ignore them you dont know what to do. but i am here.
where was the girl who used to be so strong? the one who used to tell everyone ïts nothing' you said youd be fine. and you were.
WERE.
so dear get up and stop lying around waiting for someone to come.. cos only when u stop waiting.. will he be there.
ilovedyou; 10:02 AM
andistilldo
Sunday, August 7, 2011
goodbye;
My cover of drops of jupiter :)
checkout my channel ;)
www.youtube.com/user/singinginthraine
ilovedyou; 11:39 PM
andistilldo
Monday, April 18, 2011
goodbye;
i think i should just die right now. i feel horrible. so bad that i dont feel like going anywhere anymore. just seeing you once makes me feel like that. and on the first day of school. what more if i see you every now and then? what more if you say hi? and i pretend.. i reply.
SMILING. would you believe me?
or would you just... pretend to care when actually you dont give a damn at all? like how you always do. how you just want to get rid of that guilt you know you carry so well.
and i know. i'm supposed to give up. i'm stupid. i know i am. but i cant help it. noone can. or can we?
but i dont want to. i really dont. i dont wanna get hurt by someone who'll come around too good to be true again. i dont wanna give in anymore im scared im so scared i wish you knew. i wish you knew how much i miss you. especially now. right now..
remember there was smth i said i had for you? what ive wanted to give u on 1st october is still under my bed. collecting dust? no. i still read it once in awhile.. i never forget bout it. i never forget you.
and no matter how i try i still cant. i wish i were strong enough to make you hurt. but i just cant..
i never will.
cos up till now i still love you.
and i know if i love you i have to let it go.. but at the same time, please know dear..
i'm really trying..
ilovedyou; 11:06 PM
andistilldo
Monday, April 11, 2011
goodbye;
am i happy?
i always ask myself this question.. and i ponder all the time. deep inside im not, but i try to be. but yet when i look back, i am strong. i can be happy. i just choose otherwise. but yet again some things just cant be helped. everything happens for a reason. people come, people go. lies are heard, but the truth shows. faces change. PEOPLE change. but yet, everything stays the same. and one day, you'll find that you're all alone. who will be there for you? who will really stay? most of the time, none of them keep to what they say. promises. just a reason for people to feel better. to run for awhile.. long enough for them to recover then realize.. its all a mistake. we all do, we hurt. we hurt others. we're all criminals when it comes to love, we've all broken our hearts before. and killed someone along the way. but life goes on. we still put ourselves out, vulnerable. and we break again.
im tired. sometimes i wish i could run away. i wish people would stay. i wish love could find my way. i wish people would really do what they say. i wish everything else would always be okay.
then i would be happy. or am i? already?
or do i pretend to be..
its a new year, they say. time to put things behind. to move on. to live again. but isnt it always the same?
new school, new challenges. what if i meet the ones i fear the most? what if people try to change me even more? worse, what if i let them? what would become of me. where would the laraine be..
hiding.. deep beyond the depths of her soul. looking, for a way to finally come out and show. show to the world that shes okay. being herself. being accepted. being real and true. for the masks she wear are tearing. and she'll realize, I'LL realize..
i should be happy being me..
but im not.
but i know some how i am.
or maybe i just dont know.
not now,
not YET.
ilovedyou; 11:45 PM
andistilldo
goodbye;
OMG. i havent been here in a long time. almost a year.. yet i still feel the same when i come here. still dark. still down and, really emotional. maybe thats why i dont blog often anymore.. cos i wna run away..
CHANGE.
maybe? for the better.. yes and no.
LOVE.
same as before
FRIENDS.
the ones who really matter, stay..
FAMILY.
not as close, but good as always
ilovedyou; 11:39 PM
andistilldo
Thursday, May 27, 2010
goodbye;
first love- the last time i heard this song, i was crying over someone else. and you called me, you called to ask if i was all right. and i thought you were so sweet. well you are really. i miss you. ive said it again and again.. and i dont think i wil ever stop.. even if i find someone else, when i think of you i will still remember everything.. &i will still cry. i still cry now.. and yes, thru sleepless nights.. i still hold on to the hope that its not just another dream. but the way you said it.. take it as a dream im sorry.. even the sweetest dreams couldnt come close to this.. i love you. sometimes i cry so badly cos i just wish you were there. maybe they're right. that you played with me. but how would they know.. they're not you. the man i fell in love with is not the boy they speak about. i wish there was just something i could do.. to wake up. really. but i know deep down inside. i just refuse to.
