Thursday, April 22, 2010
goodbye;
i miss you bl. im still missing you. i have no one to turn to.
you were always there but now im alone.
i want you so bad.
im not okay.
its a fake front i put on.
the smiles..
u can see me crying inside.
i still recall those nights on the phone.
im hurting and i know u wont do anything.
you once said you didnt have a choice.
and i said u did. well u do.
u just chose the easy way out.
sometimes some things are just not meant to be.
i know.. i know..
but i choose to stay.
cos someone who once said
"so miss raine, where to?"
wants me to change..
i am..
im sorry.
the random messages show my weakness.
when u get a message from me, im weak.
im crying.
im somehow hopin u wil reply
and being such a great believer in faith,
ive failed.
i shd never have let you thru to my heart.
never shd have given in to that sweet boy.
someone i gave up many things for.
my sleep. everything
and when i asked u to go to sleep..
i wanted u to,
and the words u said made it difficult.
like what if u went to sleep..
what would i do..
i was tired.
i was
but i was sad.
cos i knew u might disappear anytime.
i lived with this fear.
you would go. u have,
but i asked u to,
u only had a few hours of rest and soon u would meet me.
and thn that night u called me again.
you will never know how much all these meant to me.
or maybe u do.
sometimes u feel things but u dont say it.
u lie to me so that it wont hurt but..
it really hurts more.
&the last thing i want
would be hearing a lie about a lie...
im sorry i haven forgotten you
i try very hard to
but sometimes
i just feel too empty.
&i just miss you so.
