Monday, April 11, 2011
goodbye;
am i happy?
i always ask myself this question.. and i ponder all the time.
deep inside im not, but i try to be.
but yet when i look back, i am strong. i can be happy. i just choose otherwise.
but yet again some things just cant be helped.
everything happens for a reason.
people come, people go.
lies are heard, but the truth shows.
faces change. PEOPLE change.
but yet, everything stays the same.
and one day, you'll find that you're all alone.
who will be there for you? who will really stay?
most of the time, none of them keep to what they say.
promises. just a reason for people to feel better.
to run for awhile.. long enough for them to recover then realize..
its all a mistake.
we all do, we hurt. we hurt others.
we're all criminals when it comes to love,
we've all broken our hearts before.
and killed someone along the way.
but life goes on.
we still put ourselves out,
vulnerable.
and we break again.
im tired.
sometimes i wish i could run away.
i wish people would stay.
i wish love could find my way.
i wish people would really do what they say.
i wish everything else would always be okay.
then i would be happy.
or am i?
already?
or do i pretend to be..
its a new year, they say.
time to put things behind.
to move on.
to live again.
but isnt it always the same?
new school, new challenges.
what if i meet the ones i fear the most?
what if people try to change me even more?
worse, what if i let them?
what would become of me.
where would the laraine be..
hiding.. deep beyond the depths of her soul.
looking, for a way to finally come out and show.
show to the world that shes okay.
being herself.
being accepted.
being real and true.
for the masks she wear are tearing.
and she'll realize,
I'LL realize..
i should be happy being me..
but im not.
but i know some how i am.
or maybe i just dont know.
not now,
not YET.
