Monday, April 18, 2011
goodbye;
i think i should just die right now.
i feel horrible. so bad that i dont feel like going anywhere anymore.
just seeing you once makes me feel like that. and on the first day of school.
what more if i see you every now and then?
what more if you say hi?
and i pretend..
i reply.
SMILING.
would you believe me?
or would you just...
pretend to care when actually you dont give a damn at all?
like how you always do.
how you just want to get rid of that guilt you know you carry so well.
and i know. i'm supposed to give up.
i'm stupid. i know i am.
but i cant help it.
noone can. or can we?
but i dont want to. i really dont.
i dont wanna get hurt by someone who'll come around too good to be true again.
i dont wanna give in anymore
im scared im so scared i wish you knew.
i wish you knew how much i miss you.
especially now.
right now..
remember there was smth i said i had for you?
what ive wanted to give u on 1st october is still under my bed.
collecting dust? no.
i still read it once in awhile..
i never forget bout it.
i never forget you.
and no matter how i try i still cant.
i wish i were strong enough to make you hurt.
but i just cant..
i never will.
cos up till now i still love you.
and i know if i love you i have to let it go..
but at the same time, please know dear..
i'm really trying..
